These are the scripts for a few of the 30- and 60-second promo spots we did to inform radio listeners that we existed, were worth wasting half an hour with, and could be heard Sunday afternoons on Radio K. There's only one here so far, but I'll add more later, perhaps.
This one was written in late '96 but never recorded.
(The scene: A confessional. Organ music or Gregorian chant in background)
Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Priest: Really? Thank God, I was fallin' asleep here. Pull up a chair and dish me yer dirt, my child of God.
M: Well, I have these cravings, father --
M: Cravings to hear wacky, outrageous satire and creepy thrillers all mixed together in one convenient package.
Pr: Why, my son, that's no sin.
M: It isn't?
Pr: No. But I'll make you do penance anyhow.
M: Oh, thank you, father!
Pr: Every Sunday at 1:30 p.m., you must listen to Where Threads Come Loose on 770 AM, Radio K.
M: Where Threads Come Loose?
Pr: Yes. It's got the wild, wiggy weirdness your heart cries out for. Four out of five popes recommend Where Threads Come Loose for all your radio drama needs!
M: Thanks, father. I'll give Where Threads Come Loose a try.
Announcer: Yes, that's Where Threads Come Loose, every Sunday afternoon at 1:30 on 770 AM, Radio K. Because your immortal soul depends on it.
M: You're not a real priest, are you, father?
Pr: Hey, I've got this collar, don't I?